Welcome to The Fallout.

There's a scent in the air, maybe unnoticeable at first, but it's there. I'm begginning to fall in love all over again. I'm begginning to give up on finding myself. I keep feeling like something bad is coming, but maybe it's just my mind playing tricks on me. All my life, i have heard the question, "What is your biggest fear?". And all my life, i haven't known. But sitting in this chair, staring at this wall, being let down through one text message and brightened up by another, i think i know. My mom will scream and i'll think it's my fault, but she wont enter the room. Did i hear a scream at all? My teacher says "better hurry up, or you'll end up at Arrow next year." But, my papers say i'm ahead in credits. i draw alot more now. I've been doing drawings for the local bands around here lately. And people like them. I went to the mall with all my friends yesterday. We laughed 98% of the time. I love my friends, but i dont think they love me. I finally got her back into my life...now i dont know if i want her. I'll sleep all day, and still be tired. I'm thinking of something to do, with a whole list of options in front of me. Instead. i sit and stare at my wall. Another text, who is it? That adorable girl. She gets more perfect in my eyes with every word she says. We've been closer lately too. Another text, she lets me down...again. Maybe i'll go visit charter oak. I get alot of "Why are you here?"'s. To be honest, i want to ask them the same question. What has this school done for you? I have more credits and more freedom than half of you. Why are YOU here? Then i remember. I see a close friend that i see every day and i get happier than i used to. I dont see him for as long every day. Not as long as i used to. I remind myself of domefest, then that girl. Then everyone in my car is laughing. Another text, it's only twitter. Where am i going? "Clean your room" my mom says. "okay," i say. It's still sitting dirty behind me. I watch movies i see everyday over and over again. New movies though, i cant get an hour into anymore. Where are my friends? What are they doing?
I'm going to write this blog, or, i've already written it. I want to cheer up. What can cheer me up? I'm going to the gym tonight. i go twice a day now. Pretty over not being as healthy as i should be. All these songs are redundant. I want something new. what am i supposed to do?!?! i feel empty again. maybe its fear? Oh yeah, "Greg. What's Your biggest fear?"
"This."








I'm terribly frightened of going insane. My greatest fear is what i feel myself becoming. Unusual. Insane. Not right.

I don't want to be crazy.